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Yesterday a cop evidently followed me, from his post, into the library, paced back and forth a few feet away from me while I browsed the poetry section for like half an hour, then followed me out.

HOW TO win a girl's heart

Over the past few days I've been questioning a generous collection of young women, our conversations all revolving around what a guy can be, say and do in order to "win their heart". I got some very interesting replies and I'm hoping, despite your sexual preferences, everyone can enjoy and possibly even put to use, the content in this entry.
Next week I'm hoping to do the same sort of thing but switching the gender view, so look forward to that ;) I'm wanting to do more of this style of blogging, how-to's and adivce... Offering more than just entertainment, ya know?
"Taylor STFU and get to it!"
Okay okay!

HOW TO WIN A GIRL'S HEART

DO:

• MAKE HER LAUGH - This was a very popular response among the girls, and I completely agree with it! Most everybody likes to laugh, so why not YOU be the one to make her crack up? Get to know her style of humor and make a joke any appropriate opportunity you get. It's also okay though if not every one of your quirks makes her giggle, she'll still appreciate the thought and effort you put into her. (That's what she said.)
• BE HONEST - No girl wants to be lied to. Don't try to make yourself up to be something you can't live up to(I know sometimes there can be a lot of pressure from yourself to do this, but for motivation NOT to lie, imagine the awkward moment when she finds out you can't swim, can braid hair, and spend all your after-school hours at the library, not the football field. That kind of stuff is cute anyways.) If you need to tell her something, say it. Don't sugar coat it, don't put it off, don't forget about it... Girls like to know stuff! And they like to know it's true too! Don't let a lie ruin her view on you.
• MAKE HER FEEL SPECIAL - I'm not saying drop your everything just to make her happy, but let her know you mean something to her. "You're beautiful" and favorite flowers win plenty of pie points in this area, but really just any compliment or gift will make you worthy of being given at least a chance.
• RESPECT HER - Everyone likes a gentleman. Open the door for her, no burping contents unless she proposes them, and always pay the bill. (EXCEPT FOR SADIE HAWKINS. THAT IS THE POINT OF SADIE HAWKINS.) Generally just use tasteful manners and treat her with the greatest of courtesy, the same of which you'd treat your own mother.
• MAINTAIN GOOD HYGIENE - You have all sat next to the hefty kid in class who obviously only showers once a month, has talons for fingernails and could fix a nice batch of french fries with all the grease in his hair. But you've never wondered why he doesn't have a girlfriend. You don't need to look like you just stepped out of a Ralph Lauren ad, but you do need to look like you give a crap about your image. All I'm asking is that you take a mere 10 minutes of out of your routine to make sure your clothes are clean, nails are trimmed, and hair looks nice. Thank you.

DON'T:

• BE OVERWHELMINGLY PHYSICAL - That's just weird, especially if you're not close yet. Hugs are cute but watch for signs that she doesn't really want one. I don't like those creepy upperclassmen guys who ask for excuses to touch all the pretty freshmen girls. Ick.
• BE AWKWARD - It's truly only awkward if you make it so. If you're not totally chill, fake it until it actually is.
• GO FOR HER FRIENDS - One of the biggest tool moves you can make as a guy. Just stick to one target. It's also confusing and bothersome when you flirt with all the girls in one group.

KEEP IN MIND:

• A girl's heart is a fragile thing. Don't toss it around like a football; a fumble will cost you.
• Her ears can be like a recording machine. Don't speak in code or use obscure metaphors, unless she's into that kinda thing, for when a girl is upset, she'll analyze everything. Any stupid move you make will be forever pasted to the walls of her brain and don't doubt that any dumb thing you say will be used against you later in an argument.

Haha now go get your girl.

Sidebar Updates

• View counter. Yeah thanks ya jerks for making it so inaccurate. I'm kidding, I love numbers. But yeah it counts every view, we all knew if it counted unique views it'd be screaming "4".
• My playlist, nothing new. Well, there's new songs all the time but I've heard it can startle/agitate people when it finishes loading in the middle of your reading and it blasts some obscure indie rock song. Sorry about that.
• I never know what to talk about so you can e-mail me and question or topic to talk about and I'd maybe be happy-bright-sunny to talk about it. Unless you tell me otherwise you'll be anonymous, so you can ask me for advice about your love life and stuff. You know you're going to get some smart-ass anwser though so maybe just stick to the random, interesting topics that people will want to read about.
• Yeah now you don't have to have a Blogger/Gmail account to follow me! Just enter in your e-mail address and you'll get an update whenever I post new junk.
• Share me on Facebook? I know plenty of people do but they don't use that little button... This way it's pretty quick though and again, you all know I love numbers.
• The poll... You know it's all completely random and purely for the purpose of our entertainment haha.
• Then there's my About Me(nothing new but feel free to read that), my blog archives, a lovely little button entitled "Follow", and a list of all my followers. Good people.

I think I'm gonna start doing "tips" posts... Look out for that.

Thanks for reading!

RAVE #2

1. Amy Schumer
One of my favorite comedians.

She's so cute.

2. Chocolate Milk
Whenever I can't sleep in the middle of the night I pull myself into the kitchen, grope around the fridge for the two vitals and weave together those bad boys to make me a lovely little mini meal.

3. True Jackson VP

YES, I DO watch Nickelodian, Cartoon Network, Disney Channel ect...

I get picky about my kid shows though because the majority of them suck! It's not cool when 13 year olds are saying "sexy", "boobs" and "bra" on the tele for everyone 3 and up to hear. If it were up to me people wouldn't even know what sex was until they at least had a face full of zits.

Anyhow, True Jackson is probkies my fave show that targets a younger audience. The jokes are genuinely comical(not to mention tasteful), the cast is adorable and the main character(True) is actually an awesome role model for young girls. Make that all people really. She's the vice president of a huge fashion magazine who has a lot to manage, but at the end of the day she's just a normal teenage girl who has her quirky sense of humor and friends to help her through everything.

Haha listen to me, I'm a Hallmark card!

No but really this show is fabulous.

4. When my cat sleeps in the sink

So &%*#!?@ adorable!

5. Watching the clouds

I'm really not a fan of the weather lately. For those of you who don't live here, it's hot. Those of you who do live here think I'm just bitching and that it's summer anyways.

Let's not turn this into a rant though...

So when my parents, in their Charlie-Brown-adult-style, nag me to go get some "fresh air" (can't I just open a window?) I like to find a nice shadowed location, get cozy in the grass and watch the clouds.

Summer hasn't raped me of all my school year learnings(YET) and I can somewhat identify the types of sky cotton.

I feel like I'm on Rugrats but I look for shapes in the clouds. The cumulus clouds(do I get extra credit?) are primo for this.

It's the best watching clouds with a partner. It's neat when you both say you see Jim Carrey bowling with milk jugs then point to the same cloud. It's kinda neater to see how each person interprets the shape of a cloud though.

Basically it's the outdoor version of being a couch potato! :)

Haha wear your helmets and seat belts.

Would it hurt if I lit it on fire?

Summer in itself is a good inspiration.

The birds tweet

Like it's nothing

Candid gossip

Splitting sweet

Pity bramble

Call the kids in

Muzzled music

Filthy feet

Dirt uncloaked

Nitwits fly

Disposistion

At the high

Tropics beckon

Fresh provoked

Water's leveled

Fire's stoked

Summer and Stuff

My yesterday was fun. I spent it all with my best friend. I'm thinking, just the beginning of a beautiful summer break.

And no, no, we totally didn't jump in the river if that's what you were thinking.

Haha I hope everyone's having a nice summer :3