RANT #2

I never know what to talk about.
So I just complain.

1. Snack Food Untraditionally Shaped

It was unexpected and it tasted different in my mouth.

2. Dry Hands

I try to always keep a bottle of lotion with me, but crap happens, and that 7% of the time I don't have it, I become very disoriented. It's just downright disgusting to have itchy slabs of sandpaper attached to the end of your arms anyways.

3. Being Woken Up From A Nice Nap By Some Punk Screaming Shakespeare

Not cool.

4. Belt Buckle Bulge

You all know what I'm talking about.
& being obscenely skinny doesn't ever help this situation

5. Wind Hair

It's like sex hair but really not as sexy.


Sorry I'm off schedule.
Enjoy your day. :)

RANT #1

Are Mondays shaping out to be rant days?
Probably not.
Enjoy :D

1. Leggings As Pants
If I wanted to see your legs in this detail I would probably have asked you to take your pants off. You guys can do that on your own time though. Thanks.

Obscene.

2. Slow Walkers

Your jog is my walk. Your walk is my legless crawl. I have places to be and I know you do too. You're on the cover of my favorite childhood book.



Adorable.

3. Watching People Eat Each Other's Faces

Apparently, it's a way to express affection.

But you enjoy that?

4. Optimists

OH MY GOSH CAN'T I JUST BE SAD.

5. People Can Can't Rip Paper Worth Zip

Thanks for taking half my babysitting flyer home with you.

That's probably how I'm going to censor everything from now on.

P.S. Zoewiener sucks eggs.